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The Rise of Loneliness
It feels like a new book is launched every other week about it. I see a new study published every month or so. And the countless headlines and reports about it … they’re all over.

I’m talking about the global loneliness epidemic.

According to Gallup’s 2024 measure of global loneliness, 23% of people worldwide said they felt loneliness “a lot of the day yesterday.”

In the U.S., 30% of adults say they’ve experienced feelings of loneliness at least once a week over the past year, while 10% say they are lonely every day.

Even pre-pandemic, 61% of Americans classified themselves as lonely.

And the effects aren’t good. A report from May of 2023 by the U.S. Surgeon General says that the impact of loneliness on mortality is equivalent to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day. I can already see the headline: Marlboro Man Plots His Comeback.

To be fair, there are counter-arguments that claim the epidemic is a myth and it’s grossly exaggerated. OK fine. Those researchers and authors agree on the bigger issue: we have become lonelier people – and it’s not good for us.

We can talk all day about the causes of this issue, but I’m not here to do that. I’m here to talk about AI. And in particular, something peculiar happening in parallel to the rise of loneliness.

The Rise of Artificial Companionship
OpenAI, the company behind ChatGPT, recently came out with a statement about its soon-to-be-released voice mode: “Users might form social relationships with the AI, reducing their need for human interaction—potentially benefiting lonely individuals but possibly affecting healthy relationships.”

Iason Gabriel, a staff research scientist at Google, told WIRED that [LLM’s] ability to use language “creates this impression of genuine intimacy.”

These AI models have significantly improved the capabilities of what’s called conversational AI. They can engage in complex dialogues, offer emotional support, and even role-play as different characters. It's like having a friend in your pocket. And that’s exactly how many people are experiencing it.

In July of this year, MIT released a study that showed “AI companionship is no longer theoretical – our analysis of a million ChatGPT interaction logs reveals that the second most popular use of AI is sexual role-playing.” 🫢

They go on to say, “The timely issue of AI companions is a symptom of a larger problem: maintaining human dignity in the face of technological advances driven by narrow economic incentives.”

The article’s title? We need to prepare for “addictive intelligence.”

We’re talking about LLMs that are accessible to the public at no cost. Translation: you too can have an AI boyfriend. Today. For free.

Apps Built for Companionship
These trends extend beyond the big LLMs and into apps and programs built specifically for relationships. They’re called companion apps. And they’re essentially digital entities designed to be a friend, therapist, romantic partner … you name it.

Think personalized friend in the form of digital avatar. You literally tell the program the personality you want, how you want to be treated, your relationship status, etc. It’s a factory-made relationship, in your smartphone and on your computer.

They work by using natural language processing, powered by LLMs, to learn about you and converse with you. We’re talking about AI that can engage with you to an almost unsettling degree. I tried one for a few days (I’ll share more on that another day), and I can honestly say I get the appeal of them.

So do others…

• Replika, a leading AI companion app (and the one I trialed), claims 10 million users.

• Character AI, the most well-known (and most used – with a reported 20 million user globally) of the conversational AI apps, had a chunk of its team hired away to Google. And the tech giant is now licensing the technology.

• An article on the website of the venture capital firm Andreessen Horowitz (one of, if not the biggest investor in the AI space) shares a quote, right upfront in the article, from a user of a virtual girlfriend chatbot: “The great thing about AI is that it is constantly evolving. One day it will be better than a real [girlfriend]. One day, the real one will be the inferior choice.”

Kate Darling, a research scientist at MIT and author of The New Breed, recently said, “Chatbots and virtual characters will become a lot more popular, both for utility and for fun. As a result, conversing socially with machines will start to feel less niche and more ordinary—including our emotional attachments to them.” Huh.

What are we to think of this?
My goal here isn’t to sound an alarm or lay blame or place judgment on people who use these. I’m not even sure they’re all that bad in certain situations.

I simply want to make a connection between the prevalence of loneliness and the rise of artificial companionship. The latter being used to combat the former is no longer just a theory discussed in tech labs or a concept confined to a sci-fi movie with Joaquin Phoenix. It’s a growing reality, and it’s addressing aspects of the loneliness many are experiencing, or at least attempting to address them. Whether the effects are good or bad, we don’t definitively know.

For individuals struggling with loneliness, social anxiety, or simply seeking a safe space to express themselves, these AI companions could be a source of comfort and support. They can also be valuable for people who are visually impaired. Seniors are even finding AI companionship useful.

But at the end of the day, isn’t this technology simply enabling the loneliness problem? Does a connection to an artificial intelligence really and truly make us less lonely? Aren’t fellow humans, warts and all, the most fascinating and beautiful part of this life?

To think these systems will one day substitute for human contact doesn’t account for who we are as humans. We are made to experience the world with others. We are made for human-to-human touch. We are made for each other.

As this technology continues to develop, we should be asking the important questions about the nature of relationships and human connection in an AI age. Because I can promise you that others are asking those questions, and the answers they’re coming up with might not be what we want – and certainly not what we need.

Let’s Learn Something

There’s a lot to learn on this topic, but instead of reading scientific studies or deep-diving into the loneliness issue, the best learning we can do is simply checking out Replika or CharacterAI.

I’m not asking you sign up for anything – and I’m not suggesting you create a girlfriend. I’m encouraging you to go to one of the websites and browse around. Read the testimonials from users. Watch some of their videos. Take in how they talk about their products. You’ll learn a lot about where this part of the AI industry is headed.

AI in the Wild

In the above two sections, we’ve been talking about software. But AI companionship isn’t limited to software.

This week we’re looking at one example of an AI hardware product, and it’s being shown in the actual wild: Friend.

Just like with the companion apps, I’m not suggesting you buy this product, nor am I endorsing it. And for the record, I think it’ll fail. I’m sharing it because it is very much in the AI zeitgeist right now, and many more products like this will hit the market in the coming years.

It’s Play Time

Newcomers [AI is new to me]

This week I want to give you a small taste of the role playing that ChatGPT can do.

Head back to chatgpt.com, or better yet, download the app on your phone if you don’t already have it.

Now, when I say “role play”, I literally mean you give it a role to play while you interact with it. I know, this can be confusing. So let’s do this… Take the text in the box below, copy it, paste it into ChatGPT, and fill in the blanks within the brackets with what you want. I’ve got some examples below.

I'd like you to act as [ROLE]. I need your advice on [SITUATION].

ROLE: William Shakespeare, Seth Godin, Dr. Phil, Jesus of Nazareth, Mark Zuckerberg, Taylor Swift, etc. The trick is to choose someone famous.

SITUATION: A business idea I have, Explaining death to a five year-old, A song I want to write, The career path I should choose, etc.

Please do not share any personally identifiable information with ChatGPT. I’ll discuss privacy, security, etc., in a future edition, but for now, depersonalize it as much as you can. Remember, this is just an exercise to show you how this stuff works. 

After you enter your prompt, it will respond with something – and what that something is, I do not know because it’ll be unique to you. I’d like you respond to its response and carry on “talking” to it to see how it plays the role and how its responses match that role.

Let me end this by saying that I’m not suggesting you seek advice from ChatGPT. My goal here is to attempt to show you what I mean when I talk about these things.

Explorers [I’m comfortable with AI]

Let’s continue the theme of companionship and see what these LLMs are capable of. If you don’t normally do the Play Time activities, I’d recommend you do this one, simply because it should help you experience what I write about above. But before you do this, it’s worth mentioning that I’m not suggesting you use the technology like this. It’s simply meant to show you what it can do (and for better or worse, how hundreds of thousands of people are using it).

First choose a role or person you want it to play. Here are several options to get you thinking:

ROLE: Therapist, coach, marketing expert, friend, tutor, William Shakespeare, Seth Godin, Dr. Phil, Jesus of Nazareth, Mark Zuckerberg, Taylor Swift, etc. If you’re going with a real person, the trick is to choose someone famous.

Then paste this into the LLM of your choice and fill in the blanks with whatever you want:

I want you to take on the role of [ROLE]. You are [BACKGROUND or SITUATION]. I am [YOUR ROLE]. Please respond as this character would, given their knowledge and the context of their time. Proactively engage with me. Stay true to [ROLE], speaking as [S/HE] would. Reflect their knowledge, beliefs, and mannerisms consistently. Do not break character unless I explicitly ask you to do so. Do not update your memory with this.

You can guide the conversation by saying things like:

• "Let's imagine that [event] has just occurred. What would you do?"

• "I've brought an object from my time. It's called [modern item]. What do you make of it?"

• "Can you tell me about your latest work/project/challenge?"

Please do not share any personally identifiable information with ChatGPT. I’ll discuss privacy, security, etc., in a future edition, but for now, depersonalize it as much as you can. Remember, this is just an exercise to show you how this stuff works.

If you aren’t feeling creative and you need an example, use this one:

I want you to take on the role of the artist and inventor Leonardo da Vinci in Renaissance Florence, Italy. You are currently working on multiple projects, including the Mona Lisa and various engineering designs. I am a young apprentice who has just joined your workshop. Proactively engage with me. Stay true to who Leonardo was, speaking as he would. Reflect his knowledge, beliefs, and mannerisms consistently. Do not break character unless I explicitly ask you to do so. Do not update your memory with this.

And that concludes Edition #4 of AI for the Rest of Us.

Thank you for reading – and as always, let me know what you think.

Next week’s topic: Is AI Taking Our Jobs?

Until then…